🏡 Housekeeping

Real Talk vol. 4

Hey there.

It’s been a hot minute since I made the decision to move all of my writing to one blog, so now is an excellent time to review and recap how it’s all come together.

For a while, I’ve been figuring out my shit, which upon reflection, looked a hot mess. This process was necessary to get here. I’m FINALLY at peace with how, where, why, and to whom I write. 

I felt a hefty responsibility to get my mind and heart on the same page, and I couldn’t do that while feeling like an impostor. I had to find my voice, and my writing style, plus I had to be damn sure that sharing wasn’t entirely about my ego. Let’s face it, who doesn’t like accolades? I’m not immune to chasing claps and kudos, but I also want to help, motivate, and inspire.

So, here we are. My old posts at BecomingJae.com are still live. Those past posts are my evolution. This blog is where I’m coming into my own.

At times, I share post links in a few Facebook groups, and I’ve gotten some push-back about using Substack for my blog and newsletter, namely from subscribers on the free plan who can't leave comments on posts. I recognize that this might be an impediment for some but not all so, I won't be going back to a traditional website and blog anytime soon.   

I chose Substack to house and publish my blog for several reasons:

  1. Simplicity. There are no distractions with sidebars or ads. I think of websites like a house; the bigger the house, the more “stuff” gets crammed into it, more pages, more trinkets. I don’t want to house unnecessary stuff, and Substack makes it easy to showcase my stories upfront without distractions. Hopefully, you appreciate the clean layout too.

  2. More simplicity. With a traditional website and blog, I’d have to maintain the infrastructure and then export the RSS feed to MailChimp, ConvertKit or Mailerlite to publish a newsletter or e-blast. With Substack, I have all of my content under one roof. I don’t have to worry about anything more than writing and publishing. 

  3. Paid subscriptions. I’m a creative entrepreneur, and I share valuable content. I’d like to receive compensation for my work, I’m not a charity. Too many of my creative friends feel unworthy to ask for money. I don’t have that luxury. Freelance work is my only income, and I need to make money. Substack makes it easy for me to offer paid content. If you’re on the free plan and want to upgrade, click [here].

Speaking of getting paid, I’ll gladly take a coffee in exchange for a one-month subscription 😉

Now that you understand how and why I got here, the following is what you can expect from jae hermann’s blog:

My Midlife Musings & Mayhem - free essays sent to your inbox 1-2 times per month.

  • Reflections & personal stories.

Real Talk - free newsletter-like personal “letters” sent to your inbox twice a month. (You’re reading one now 😊)

  • Brief insights about life and living

  • Links of interest from the www

  • Blog post recaps

GAWWLOP members-only posts - paid subscribers receive posts, podcasts, and downloads via email twice a month.

  • Bad-ass gals community

  • Freelance, entrepreneur, and other career bits

  • Motivation and inspiration; how to #LiveOnPurpose

I feel good about this direction, and I hope it feels good to you too. I’m still a work in progress so if there’s content you want to see more (or less) of, just let me know. I’m open to suggestions and recommendations.

As always, thank you for your love, support, and encouragement. I appreciate you. 💛

Until next time,

xo~Jae

P.S. If you're reading this in your inbox, feel free to hit reply, I'd love to chat with you anytime.

Lack or Abundance?

Your mindset matters.

From what mindset do you operate? What’s your MO? I’m not talking about outlook, as in glass half full or empty, I mean when you consider opportunities in your life do you gravitate to feeling like you can’t have what you want, that you can’t figure out the problem ahead, or worse, that you’re not worthy to receive what you long for? Those thoughts and feelings stem from a mindset of lack, and what you focus on is what you get.

For months I have been operating from a mindset of lack. I lost faith in myself, my talents, and ability, so most everything that I approached got filtered through that lens. Feeling unworthy spilled over to my relationships, work, and my writing.

  • Why should I bother trying to have close friends when I feel like the worst friend on the planet for not reaching out more? 

  • Why should I bother applying for that position when surely they’ll determine that I’m not qualified?

  • Why should I bother publishing anything because I don’t have as much writing experience as others, so my writing sucks.

The list is much longer, trust me. If you’re operating from a mindset of lack, flip the switch.

I am not suggesting that you “fake it until you make it”… I've never liked that expression. Think, "the show must go on" instead. As an actress, I learned that your audience doesn't respond to lack; the energy that you give is the energy that you get back. You have to show up to the stage prepared to be authentic, faking it won’t cut it.

Acting isn’t faking, acting is believing with total commitment. A well-trained actress commands her performance when she operates from faith and dedication to her character and surroundings.

The same is true in life. You must believe with a total abandon that you are capable and worthy to receive what you set your heart and mind to achieve.

Affirmations or positive phrases or statements used to challenge negative or unhelpful thoughts work when we believe and use them regularly.

My affirmations with a mindset of prosperity and abundance:

  • I am worthy and capable.

  • I trust that my friends and family love and support me.

  • I can attract business relationships to take my career to the next level.

  • Writing is a muscle that I will train and improve.

Rather than a mindset of lack, I’m choosing to believe and practice abundance, will you join me?


Thank you for your time today. There are lots of other things you could have done with these few minutes, so I appreciate that you spent them with me. If you found value in this post, please leave me a comment and share with a friend.

The price of self-acceptance, cheating, and living on purpose.

Real Talk vol. 3

The price of self-acceptance can be steep when it requires you to cope with the aftermath of an accident or injury.

It’s been 9 months since my breast explant surgery and it’s taken me this long to get to a place of loving my body again. It was easier for me to motivate others to love their bodies when I didn’t have a major deformity staring back at me in the mirror. I took for granted how difficult self-acceptance can be when the struggle is with things that are out of your control. 

My explant experience was emotionally, physically, and spiritually painful but also very humbling. Thankfully, my physical healing and blossoming midlife wisdom have given me the courage to say, “Fuck it.” 

There is nothing I can do to change how my boobs look, nor would I if I could; I just don’t care anymore. I realize, or rather decided that there’s much more to life and living than worrying about my boobs or lack thereof. 

In time I will write more about my post-explant experience because I want to help other women who are looking for support and encouragement through the process. For now though, I need to distance myself from feeling pressured to write about my boobs. I’ll gladly respond to emails or phone calls should anyone want to connect with me. 

Recently, I wrote about cheating on my husband (spoiler, I didn’t actually cheat, per se). The post came from a very raw place. The hubs and I went through a rough patch but at no time did I intend to cheat on him with another man. The price of that kind of betrayal is entirely too high, however the price of living a lie is nearly as dire.

If you’re married or living with a long-time partner, you know how the stresses of life...finances, illness and ailments, sex, and lack of physical space can take a toll. 

To get us from what felt like a breaking point, I had to take a step back from feeling raw and emotional and examine what’s missing from my life and how much of that should I respectfully expect or demand from my husband. 

I realized that 1. No one is responsible for my happiness except me. 2. My loss of autonomy was my own doing and not his. 

Now that I’ve had some time to let emotions simmer there are a few more pearls I will share in a revision of The Moment I Decided to Cheat on My Husband, (thanks Kay!) so stay tuned. 

The focus of my blog is to provide a space for sharing midlife reflections that are real, raw, authentic, and personal. I’m not the best resource for fashion or beauty tips because half the time I don’t care what I wear lol. These awesome midlife ladies are my go-to resources: 

Check them out sometime. 

Another aspect of the jae hermann blog is to provide motivation and inspiration to live on purpose. The GAWWLOP member-only content is a community dedicated to intentional living.

What’s the secret to living on purpose? How can we squash the bad habit of looking to others for validation or permission to live an authentic life? Upgrade your subscription to gain access and and learn more in the first installment, Stop the madness. #DoYou. 

Twice a month, GAWWLOP member-only content will include posts, podcast episodes, downloads, or worksheets that I use with my personal development and biz clients. Perfect for the gal looking to game-up a start-up biz or gear up a blog arsenal. There’s also some nifty GAWWLOP swag!  

It takes a village. A HUGE thank you to my awesome friends and clients who took time to write me a review/recommendation on Facebook

A massively HUGE thank you to my fellow writers who also wrote reviews, especially those whose work I absolutely ADORE and look up to (looking at you Kamga and Jas, I hope to be on your level soon, just watch me because I’m on my way). 

I’m starting (rewriting?) a new life chapter this time with a heavy focus on writing and freelance projects. Being able to showcase positive feedback to my writing and business services on my Facebook page was a much-needed dose of love and encouragement. 

Thank you again to everyone who continue to remind me that I’m not alone in my journey, I know that I can’t do this without you.

That’s all for now. If all goes as planned, you’ll get another Real Talk newsletter-like post from me next week.

Until then, #LiveOnPurpose.

~jae

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